Welcome to The Soul Podcast. I’m Stacey Wheeler. 

I ended the last episode with a quote from Adyashanti,

"The main requirement for spiritual growth: A yearning to know who you really are." 

Let’s pick up where we left off. 

We casually use the term spiritual growth... and most of us have a sense of what that means to us. But have you ever stopped and really considered what spiritual growth means to you. And maybe more importantly how it is you go about achieving spiritual growth? It's clear that as a species we have a spiritual side and it's also clear that there is a beneficial component to spiritual growth in each of us. When our spiritual growth is stifled, we wilt in a way. We shrink. So, it seems that this work is important. 

There are many ways to define spiritual growth. One thing that seems clear is that it involves developing a deeper understanding of oneself, one's values, and one's place in the world. Sometimes (if not often) this is in relation to a higher power, purpose, or sense of meaning. It involves the ongoing cultivation of inner qualities like compassion, wisdom, mindfulness, and a connection to something greater than the individual self. That may be a divine presence, the universe, or a sense of interconnectedness with others. It may simply be a sense that there is more to this life than we can fully comprehend. It usually requires a good deal of self-reflection, which leads to an evolution of the self… an evolution which we regard as an improvement in ourselves. 

And spiritual growth leads to life-long growth. Once we cross that Rubicon of the journey towards our deeper self, we are forever on the quest to further exploration of our internal world. On this journey, we may start to notice the ways our ego plays in our lives. We may recognize our shadow self at play in our relationships and decisions. And as we do our work, we grow in personal strength and resilience. For many of us, spiritual growth slowly develops and then gains speed. Once it gets going it often continues to grow. And some prominent voices agree. 

M. Scott Peck – author of The Road Less Traveled said,

"The great awareness comes slowly, piece by piece. The path of spiritual growth is a path of lifelong learning. The experience of spiritual power is basically a joyful one."

There’s a subtle shift that happens in spiritual growth. We spend our lives in the pursuit of happiness… struggling to get to the next bit of happiness. In spiritual work we find joy. And we discover that we no longer need to chase happiness. Because happiness follows joy. This is magical stuff. Joy is a natural magnet for happiness. I’ve yet to discover an explanation for why this is, but it is undeniably true in my life. As I was doing my spiritual work, joy emerged. Every day was better and bright. I was happier and more outgoing. I embraced life and all its adventure. I easily avoided most obstacles in the stream. The ones I couldn’t avoid didn’t hit me as hard. And somewhere in this process, happiness continues to find me in levels I never found when seeking happiness. Joy seems to be the concierge for happiness. Find joy… and joy brings different flavors of happiness. It’s magic!  Maybe it’s because we’re removing the obstacles to our happiness, rather than looking around to try and find it. We start to re-write the truth of our life. What we’re capable of. The doors of possibility open.

The author, Marianne Williamson wrote, 

"Spiritual growth increases our sense of what's possible. And as we sense new possibility, we can step into that possibility. With every word, every thought, every action, we choose what we wish to call forth in life."

Realizations like these don’t happen right away. They increase as we do the work.

As M. Scott Peck said, "The great awareness comes slowly, piece by piece.”

For me, spiritual growth became captivating. As my joy grew, my desire for more joy and inner peace grew. I saw that the source of my joy was the work I was doing, tearing down the walls of story that had been erected over my lifetime. It was so joyful, I wanted more. So, over time many people doing their spiritual work will reflexively look for new opportunities for spiritual growth. And we sometimes (if not usually) find those opportunities in life’s challenges. 

The British philosopher, Paul Brunton said, 

"When every situation which life can offer is turned to the profit of spiritual growth, no situation can really be a bad one." 

The longer we spend doing the work, the more we do it reflexively. And as Brunton observed, we find that no situation can really be a bad one. All situations become opportunities.  We all face challenges in our daily lives. And in these challenges lie great opportunities. When we recognize and act on them, spiritual growth follows. Because life is happy to supply us with endless challenges, the opportunities for spiritual growth available to us are endless.

That’s why M. Scott Peck said, 

"Everything that happens in life is there to aid our spiritual growth." 

The good, the bad and everything in between. But the difficult stuff is where the majority of the work happens. 

So, that’s what spiritual growth is. But how do we begin? If you’re asking that question, you’ve already started. Remember Adyashanti said the main ingredient for spiritual growth is, "A yearning to know who you really are.” If you wonder how you begin, you’ve taken the first step… you’re wondering who you really are. The next step is to keep your eyes open for ways to challenge your comfort zone. This can be the smallest of things: from a conversation with a stranger, (if you’re not normally comfortable doing that), to a 10-day silent meditation retreat, if you've never tried anything like that. But as I said -the opportunities are endless. 

Everyone is challenged by different things. This is because we’ve all  had different life experiences so, we’ve got different comforts and discomforts. When I was going through the early stages of spiritual awakening, one of the ways I leaned into my work was by wearing outrageous clothes in public. These were things that weren’t necessarily outrageous to everyone, but which made me feel uncomfortable wearing them. Maybe a leather biker jacket, which made me feel a bit silly because I think it’s the sort of thing a tough guy would wear. And I know I’m not a tough guy.  But it made me just a bit uncomfortable, so it did the trick for me.

A woman I know leaned into her spiritual growth by putting on makeup and going out in public. No big deal, right? Not for most people, but she had never felt comfortable embracing her girlie side. She had suppressed it early so, she found discomfort in wearing makeup and trying to be pretty. Though these things probably didn’t seem all that strange to others, it allowed us to lean into discomforts. And in doing this we faced small fears. In facing small fears, we learned we learned those fears didn’t stand up when pushed against. They were false fears we’d erected. 

When we push against old fears (even small ones) it trains us to understand fears aren’t real barriers, only self-constructed barriers. And when we push against any fear, we nearly always gain a victory. We nearly always become stronger. 

And I want to clarify what I mean by “nearly always.” I’ve never pushed against a fear and not had a good result or positive outcome. There is an impressive success rate in the work I’ve done there. I only say “nearly always” because nothing is perfect. There’s always the possibility we won’t get the specific results we’re hoping for. But in the act of trying, in the act of pushing against our fears… we immediately gain strength. This is because we’ve shown courage against something we fear. And in that moment of courage, we become stronger and more fearless. And one immediate result is we become energized to go after more of our fears. So, even though we may not get what we’re hoping for, our strength, courage and self-respect grow in the process.

And this part is cool. You don’t have to go out of your way to find things to make you uncomfortable. You must only be open to recognizing them when they present themselves. In my case, I’d become very neutral in the way I dressed. I realized that any clothing item that I felt judgmental about made me uncomfortable. And it didn’t take much to challenge my discomforts. I noticed I was judgmental about skinny jeans. So, I bought a pair. Long flowy scarves seemed overly effeminate when men wear them, so I bought a bunch of those.  These were not massive changes. And I still have and wear that pair of Skinny jeans and still have a few of those scarves. In challenging my judgements by trying on a different version of me, I evolved a little. You can do this simply by wearing a hat you think is very different than your personality. 

Live in the city? Put on a cowboy hat. And of course, that’s just the basic course. As you go, you find even more outrageous ways to challenge yourself. Watch for things that trigger you and reach for them. You only must be open to embracing your discomforts.

You must make an effort at first and then you become more skilled at doing your work. It takes some time to get up to speed but keep moving forward and you’ll be growing like mad. 

The Zen Buddhist teacher Geri Larkin said it like this, 

"Spiritual growth is like learning to walk. We stand up, fall, stand up, fall, take a step, fall, take a couple of steps, fall, walk a little better, wobble a bit, fall, run, and finally, eventually fly." 

With practice we all fly. And the rush you will get each time you lean into it is what will fuel your desire to keep moving forward. So, lean into it. Take a step into the edge of your discomfort. Challenge yourself. 

If you feel stuck don’t take a small step. Take a huge leap. Dive into the deep end. Find something that makes you truly uncomfortable (but cannot physically hurt you) and go for it. 

The world is endlessly full of possibilities. You only need to keep your eyes open for them. Do you have a yearning to know who you really are? The best way to find out is to move towards yourself by challenging your perceptions.