Carl Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” 

Welcome to The Soul Podcast, I’m Stacey Wheeler. 

This is part two of our two-part series on taking control of your life. Last week, we kicked things off by talking about personal responsibility—how owning your choices and dropping the victim mentality puts you in the driver’s seat of your destiny. If you missed it, go back and give it a listen, because it sets the foundation for what we’re diving into today. This episode, we’re going deep into group think—how it pulls us away from our truth and what it takes to stand firm in our own beliefs, independent of the crowd. We'll look at the subtle way we are influenced by our group -usually without understanding it's happening. Let’s get into it.

Jung’s quote about making the unconscious conscious is the perfect starting point. His work on the collective unconscious shows us there’s a deeper layer of consciousness beyond the individual, filled with instincts and ancient symbols that can influence how we think and act. It’s like an undercurrent that can sweep us along if we’re not paying attention. Group think is a modern way of describing this—when we get caught up in the dominant ideas of a group, sometimes without even realizing it.

So, what is group think? It’s when you’re part of a group—could be a PTA, a friend group, a home owner's association board, a workplace, a church, anything—and you start to take on their attitudes, even if they don’t quite align with your own. These shifts can be subtle. Maybe you’re in a coffee group, and over time, you notice your opinions start to mirror the loudest voice in the room. Or maybe it’s a city council where the majority’s stance starts to feel like your own, even if it’s not what you’d normally believe. We see this happen in DC all the time; where we see a person we feel is reasonable get elected and become 'just like the rest in their party. That's group-think on display. And our new way of thinking has influence over our future actions. 

Ralph Waldo Emerson nailed it when he said, “The ancestor of every action is a thought.” 

When a group’s ideas creep into your head, they can steer your actions, and before you know it, your life’s heading in a direction you didn’t choose.

Group think isn’t always bad, but it can be dangerous when it goes unchecked. In extreme cases, it leads to mob mentality. Think of Nazi Germany—normal, well-meaning people got swept up in societal norms that turned horrific because they didn’t question the group’s direction. That’s an extreme example, but group think shows up in our lives in quieter ways too. It’s the subtle pressure to agree with the majority, even when your gut says something else. Those moments can alter your choices, and as I said last week, your choices shape your destiny.

So, how do we break free? It starts with awareness. Jung argued that knowledge is power. If you know you’re susceptible to group think, you’re already a step ahead. Imagine you're familiar with a jungle and you know quicksand is common in places that smell like stagnant water. That awareness helps you spot the danger and steer clear. Recognizing group think is the same. Awareness is power. It means you can pause and ask, “Is this really what I believe, or am I just going along with the group?” That simple question is a game-changer. It pulls you back to your own truth.

But here’s where it gets tricky. Breaking away from the group takes courage. When you start thinking for yourself, the group might not like it. They might pressure you, shame you, or even shun you. Why? Because your independence can make others feel uncomfortable about their own conformity. It’s like you’re holding up a mirror, and they don’t always like what they see. And this is all very subtle. They may not even understand why they are upset with you... only know that they are. 

Backing up... It is a vital step to recognize how our thoughts are being influenced by the group. 

Jean-Paul Sartre said, “We only become what we are by the radical and deep-seated refusal of that which others have made of us.” 

That’s the key—refusing to let others define you. Their opinions are their problem, not yours.

This is where personal responsibility comes back in. Last week, we talked about how you can’t hold a victim mentality and personal power at the same time. The same applies here. When you outsource your thinking to the group, you’re giving away your power. But when you take responsibility for your own thoughts, you claim that power back. The American psychologist Albert Ellis put it perfectly: 

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.”

Now, let’s talk about what happens when you break free. It’s liberating, but it can also feel lonely. Humans are social creatures—we crave our “tribe.” So, naturally, when you step away from one group, you might look for another that aligns with your new perspective. That’s okay, but here’s the catch: you’ve got to stay vigilant. It’s easy to fall into group think with a new crowd. Staying independent requires constant diligence. You might even go through a cycle of joining new friend groups and breaking free again, but once you’ve done it once, you know you can do it again. That’s the strength of owning your truth.

And here’s the payoff: when you think for yourself, you earn self-respect. 

Joan Didion said, “The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” 

Do you speak your own thoughts -or do you find that you parrot other people's?

When you follow the group, deep down, you know you’re not being true to yourself. But when you stand firm in your beliefs, you honor who you are. That self-respect builds confidence, and people will notice. They’ll see you’re different, that you’re brave enough to be a free thinker. Some might push back, but others will be inspired when they recognize you're embracing personal power. 

So, let’s make this practical. Try this: next time you’re in a group setting, pay attention. Notice when you feel pressure to agree with the majority. Ask yourself, “Is this my truth, or am I just going with the flow?” If it’s not your truth, speak up or step back. It doesn’t have to be dramatic—just a quiet choice to stay true to yourself. And when you feel that pushback from the group, recognize it for what it is: group think showing its face. That’s your moment to stand tall. 

As John C. Maxwell said, “The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up.”

Let’s wrap this up with one final thought from James Allen: “A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.” 

You are responsible for the garden of your mind. Group think might try to inject weeds into your garden, but you have the power to pluck them out. You have the power to abate the source of those weeds.

Our actions are driven by our thoughts. Our thoughts are driven by our influences. So we must take control. 

It starts with taking responsibility for your thoughts, refusing to let the crowd define you, and embracing your truth with courage. So, what do you say? Are you ready to break free and own responsibility for the contents of your garden?

Thanks for joining me on this special two-part series. If you haven't subscribed to The Soul Podcast, be sure to so that and you'll get a notification each time a new episode drops. 

Keep tending that garden of your soul, and I’ll catch you next time.