More than 2000 years ago, Epictetus, a former slave turned Stoic philosopher, said:
“People are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.”

Welcome to The Soul Podcast. I’m Stacey Wheeler.

One day I was rushing through the Atlanta Airport to get to my plane on time. I was heading back from a business trip and wanted to get home. When I arrived the jetway door was closed and the plane was about to be pushed back. There was no changing the situation. I was powerless. There was no way to board that plane. The next flight wasn't for four hours. I was frustrated and annoyed. Mostly I was angry at myself for missing my flight. In this moment, I had the option of wallowing in my self-anger, or accepting the situation and focusing on what I could control, rather than what was already done. Have you ever had one of these moments and your internal frustration became external? Maybe you snapped at someone who was powerless to change your situation. Maybe you let the unchangeable situation play over and over in your head, as you thought about what went wrong. 

From time to time, each of us will have a moment where we must chose our mental attitude. We all face these moments of choice. And we don't always make the right one. When I saw I'd missed my flight, it was just as Epictetus observed, I wasn't bothered by the thing, but the view I took of it. The thing  was what it was. There was no changing it, there was only deciding 'what next,?' And me... I got to decide how I felt about it. 

You see, in situations where we feel pain over a situation, usually the pain and discomfort is not outside of us. It's inside. 

Have you ever had a perfect morning that evaporated the second traffic hit?
You had the coffee, the playlist, the sun on your face; everything is lined up; and then one red light, one rude driver, and poof. The whole day feels ruined.

That’s happiness: gorgeous, real, but slippery as hell. Joy, though? Joy is the quiet engine that keeps running even when the road’s rough, even when the coffee spills, even when the bank account looks scary. Joy doesn’t depend on the weather outside; it depends on the weather you choose... the weather --- inside. Today we’re diving into the difference, and I’m handing you the single simplest practice I’ve ever found to grow real, bulletproof joy; something that takes seven minutes and literally rewires your brain. 

Before we get started, let’s go back two thousand years to understand why this works.

Epictetus was born a slave. He was physically crippled, owned by another human being, yet he became one of the calmest, freest men who ever lived. His secret? He realized that almost nothing outside of us is in our control, but the story we tell ourselves about it is 100 % in our control. When your grumpy inner voice that says, “Ugh, this day is trash now” it isn’t describing reality. It’s creating your unhappiness. Flip the script just once; whisper to yourself, “This will pass” or “What’s one small win I got today?” It doesn't need to me much. Maybe it's that you woke up in a warm cozy bed, or that your spouse gave you a sweet kiss goodbye. Maybe it's simply that today it didn't rain. Whatever it is, embrace the small win... and suddenly the same traffic jam that spun you out suddenly feels lighter. That tiny pivot is the bridge from chasing happiness to cultivating joy. Any of us can learn to do this. And modern neuroscience backs this up like crazy.

Brain scans show that when people practice kind or instructional self-talk, the prefrontal cortex; your wise-CEO part; lights up like a Christmas tree. The reward system floods you with serotonin and endorphins. One huge meta-analysis of over thirty studies found that positive self-talk cuts anxiety, boosts performance, and even improves physical health markers; whether you’re on stage giving a speech or just stuck behind a semi. The flip side is brutal: negative loops strengthen the fear circuits in your amygdala. Keep telling yourself “Everything sucks,” and your brain literally carves deeper grooves for misery. It reinforces your negativity response. But you're not stuck with that... if you choose not to be. That's because positive loops do the opposite; they carve deeper grooves for resilience. It just takes practice. 
That’s not woo-woo. That’s neuroplasticity; your brain reshaping itself based on the sentences you repeat in your head.

So picture this:
Happiness is the flower; beautiful, but it wilts fast without good soil.
Joy is the soil; internal, steady, rooted in meaning and self-kindness.
When your inner voice is gentle and curious instead of critical and catastrophizing, you’re fertilizing joy. And joy makes every happiness bloom brighter and last longer.

So how do we intentionally grow that soil? I want to share one of the simplest, most powerful practice I’ve ever found. It comes from a little book called Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant; and yes, the title sounds over-the-top until you try it. Here’s exactly what to do. It takes seven minutes, twice a day.

I'll share this list in the show notes so you can copy and save it. For now – just listen. 

1. Set a timer for seven minutes. 
2. Sit somewhere quiet, close your eyes. 
3. Place one hand on your heart; this activates the vagus nerve and drops you into your body quickly. 
4. In your own inner voice, mentally repeat:
   “I love myself. I love myself. I love myself.”
   Say it like you mean it. Say it until it feels true, even if it feels ridiculous at first. Especially if it does.
   When the mind wanders (and it will), just gently come back.

That’s it. 

Kamal did this for thirty days straight after he hit absolute rock bottom; depression, business collapse, the works; and it rebuilt his entire emotional operating system. You can do it for months at a time, or whenever you need it. 

Why does something so simple work so well?
Because you’re replacing decades of default criticism (“I’m not enough,” “I messed up again” and so on) with the one sentence your nervous system has been starving to hear. You’re anchoring joy in your body, not in your circumstances. 

Many people will struggle to do this exercise for seven minutes. For some, it will feel like a heavy lift. If you find this is true for you, keep going. There’s a duality to each of us. We are two pieces - the body and the Soul. This exercise is a part of us, giving ourselves the love we need, desire, and deserve.

Push through your discomfort. And don’t be surprised if this exercise becomes emotional.

Starting tomorrow, try it for one week; morning and night.
If something beautiful or funny or tear-inducing happens, share it in the comments. What you share may be exactly what someone else needs to hear. I'll repost my favorites on the SoulPod X account and Facebook page. And if you want the full Kamal story plus a bunch of bonus joy practices, grab Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It. Use the link in the show notes. It’s a ninety-minute read that can change the rest of your life. Before we go, let's come back to Epictetus one more time:

“People are disturbed not by things, but by the views they take of them.”
Your day isn’t crappy.
Your view of it might be.
Change the view, change the feeling. Change your day. I’ll be doing the seven minutes right alongside you. See you on the other side of a kinder inner voice.