Rumi said, “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”

Welcome to The Soul Podcast. I'm Stacey Wheeler. In this episode, we explore a gentle but transformative practice: recognizing our own justifications. Those quiet inner excuses we tell ourselves to make a choice feel acceptable when, deep down, it doesn't quite sit right with our values or our vision for a joyful life. The beautiful thing is, when we learn to notice these justifications without harsh judgment, they stop being roadblocks and become gentle invitations. If you want greater self-trust, and the kind of sustained, soul-deep joy that comes from living in alignment – this episode is your doorway back to authenticity. Let me be clear. This isn't about chasing perfection or turning into our own inner critic. It's about awakening to our patterns with curiosity and compassion, so we can choose differently in the moment. And when we do, even small shifts ripple outward, bringing more peace, clearer connections, and that quiet radiance that feels like coming home to ourselves. Let me share a short personal story that still brings a soft smile when I think about it. A handful of years ago, I was really committed to a simple morning routine—some quiet reflection, a bit of gentle stretching, time to set an intention for the day. I'd chose to do it because I'd done it for a week and it grounded me beautifully. It put me in a nice head space to start my day. I enjoyed the way starting my day this way felt so much that I decided I'd make it a daily ritual. I made a commitment to myself. By then I understood to create a habit you must be consistent at least 21 days in a row. The longer you do it,, the more consistent you become. I wanted this to become a habit -a part of my daily routine. So I got out my journal and wrote, “I will meditate and stretch every morning for 15 minutes for the next month.” The benefit was worth the effort. For the next few weeks I stayed consistent, But during one especially packed week, the justifications started slipping in nearly unnoticed. One morning the inner voice might say, “You don't have the time.” Another day maybe it would say, “It's fine to skip today. You're tired.” or maybe, “You'll do a double-long session Saturday.” Before I realized it, a few days became nearly a full week, and I started feeling that subtle drift, like I was slightly out of sync with my own center. The joy was not flowing, as I'd become used to. And I felt a sense that I was failing myself. Do you now that feeling? One morning, mid-excuse, I caught it. I actually paused, chuckled at how automatic it had become. Then I asked myself gently, “What are you really avoiding here?” The honest answer was the discomfort of beginning when I didn't feel perfectly “ready” or energized. Then I asked myself, “Why are you so tired?” The answer, “Because I drink wine most nights and it makes me groggy in the morning.” The importance was getting to the honest answer. NOT the justification lie. I knew the only way to move forward was to own my shit. To be honest about my roadblock. 

My bad evening habit was competing with my good morning habit. Now I saw a bigger truth – Though my morning routine made me feel good, cutting back on drinking, or quitting altogether would be even better. So instead of negotiating with the excuse, I re-committed to a slightly smaller goal – ten minutes each morning. Just enough to sit, breathe, and reconnect. I also altered my evening routine. That tiny act of noticing and choosing differently re-established my morning habit almost immediately, and the level of joy I'd become used to—flowed back to me. It's such a clear reminder: our justifications aren't villains; they're messengers. Often, they signal where we're protecting ourselves from discomfort, the discomfort of breaking out of old patterns and developing new -more healthy ones. Noticing them kindly lets us respond with love instead of avoidance. This plays on a deeply psychological part of us and the effects resonate on the spiritual part of us. 

First let's look at the Psychological aspect of this. Justifications are one of the mind's most efficient defense mechanisms. They often stem from that nagging inner tension known as cognitive dissonance. This idea was brought to light by influential American social psychologist Leon Festinger. Cognitive dissonance happens when our behavior doesn't match our beliefs, values, or self-image. It's that feeling you get when you do something you believe is dishonest or wrong. Perhaps you make the choice because of desperation, or perhaps you bend to pressure. In the end you're left feeling uncomfortable. You might even play it over and over in your mind. But in this process something reflexive happens. Rather than face the discomfort of change, the mind quickly generates a story to make the mismatch feel okay: “It's not that big a deal,” “Everyone does it sometimes,” “No one will ever know.” These rationalizations protect a part of us that knows right from wrong and reduces immediate guilt or anxiety. This is why our BS justifications can be so convincing. We want to believe them. The inner voice is trying to let us off the hook -to let us feel less self-judgement, guilt or shame. But here's where it gets empowering: when we train ourselves to spot these stories as they're forming, we engage metacognition—literally thinking about our thinking. When I recognized my metal habit of justifying -and looked at the truth beneath- I had unknowingly stumbled into the realm of positive psychology. Positive psychology is basically the science of what helps people, groups (or even whole organizations) learn to thrive —not just get by or fix what's wrong. Rather than putting an emphasis on treating a psychological roadblock, it puts attention on the effective use of psychological tools -with a desire to bring a benefit from that change. Rather than treating, it's improving. In positive psychology we work on growth mindset, and self-regulation, doing things like the kind of awareness exercise I'm describing. When we do this it builds real resilience. It interrupts autopilot habits and leads to change and expansion. Whether it's emotional eating, procrastination, snapping in frustration, or avoiding hard conversations—we can learn to replace these with intentional choices. Each time we notice a justification and gently redirect toward alignment, we're literally rewiring neural pathways for greater self-control and well-being. 

And the beautiful thing: Over time, this creates a compounding effect: more self-trust, fewer regrets, and a deeper sense of agency. Psychologically, recognizing justifications isn't about eliminating excuses forever; it's about reclaiming the driver's seat in your own mind. And that shift alone can bring a profound sense of freedom and quiet joy. In time, the habit of recognizing becomes reflexive. Now, when I see myself justifying before I act, I laugh at myself. I can still do whatever I decide in that moment... but I own the justification before I move forward.

Now let's look at the Spiritual aspect of this. Spiritually, justifications can feel like soft, almost invisible veils that gradually dim our connection to the divine light within—like a very thin veil over your soul. When we justify bending our integrity, even in small ways, we create a subtle separation from our soul's truth. That separation might show up as a faint restlessness, a low hum of disconnection, or that nagging sense that something's just a little off. Maybe it's as simple as waking up unhappy and not knowing why. We're out of integrity with ourselves. Wisdom traditions across time meet us with tenderness and hope here. In Sufi poetry, Rumi so beautifully says, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Our justifications, when we have the courage to gently uncover them, become exactly those wounds—openings where grace, insight, and renewal can pour in. In Buddhist practice, this noticing is pure mindfulness: seeing through the ego's clever stories and illusions, returning again and again to the present with clear seeing. In the Christian path, honest self-examination—coupled with sincere turning back—opens the doorway to forgiveness, restoration, and a renewed heart. For the vast majority of us, our souls are inherently resilient and oriented toward growth; we're not locked into our missteps. Recognizing justifications becomes a sacred invitation: to realign, to invite the light back in fully, and to live from the joy that naturally arises when body, mind, heart, and spirit are in harmony. It's a practice of remembering who we truly are. 

Now, let's turn to today's practical tool for spiritual expansion. I call it the Justification Pause, and it's a simple practice that can quietly transform how you move through your days. It's portable, takes only seconds in the moment, and grows more powerful with repetition. Here's how it works: The next time you feel that inner nudge toward a choice that doesn't quite feel aligned—maybe reaching for comfort food when you're stressed, putting off something important, rationalizing a lie, or avoiding a vulnerable conversation—pause. Just one or two conscious breaths. If it helps, place a gentle hand on your heart as a physical reminder to come inward. Then, in your own quiet, kind inner voice, ask yourself this question: What discomfort, fear, unmet need, or old pattern am I trying to sidestep right now? (Be curious, not critical—this is about understanding, not judging.) Can you make this choice and be completely okay with yourself? What will you do now?

That's the whole practice. No long inner debate, no self-shaming—just compassionate inquiry that creates space between impulse and action. In time, this becomes reflexive – a part of who you are. That's because you've returned to your integrity, which is where we all began. There is no dishonesty in a baby's eyes. We all started with integrity. We can all return. Start small: choose one area where justifications tend to show up most often for you—maybe around food and self-care, boundaries at work, how you speak to yourself or others—and commit to using the pause there for the next week or two. If you want to super charge the change, take time at the end of each day to journal: What did I notice? What shifted when I paused? How did my body, heart, or energy feel afterward? You'll likely discover the reflex softens over time, inner space expands, wiser choices become more natural, and a gentle, sustainable joy begins to rise—the joy of knowing you're living more in tune with your true self.

This awareness is one of the kindest gifts we can give ourselves. It turns those potential small cracks in our integrity into places where light pours in, where real growth happens quietly and steadily, where joy becomes not something we chase but something we remove the barriers to. You're already equipped for this noticing—your soul is wise and ready. Try the Justification Pause this week, even just a few times, and notice what opens up. Thank you for being here with me today, for listening with an open heart. Until next time, keep tuning into that gentle inner wisdom. Your joyful life is unfolding, one aware, compassionate moment at a time.